We at Acme are committed to providing you, our customer, with the best in products that make your life not necessarily easier but, well, as the kids say, "rigorously interesting". Too many catalog stores only make life complicated by offering quality, quality, quality and not listening to the needs of the customer, who wants more than anything to have something no one else has regardless of how well it's made.

This is the third time I buy from Acme - the best service ever.
I ordered 2 anvils, none of them work! Where is my money?!
Operator! Give me the number for 911!

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